Sunday, October 9, 2011

letting go

This week was big. I have survived my Memphis detox. I let go. I feel happy. 


My detox week is finally up and all I can say is, I am glad I did it. It wasn't easy. There were moments when I wanted to text/call my Memphis friends up and say, "I miss you!" I did this detox to focus on myself and the awesome life that God has put in front of me. I have said for weeks now that I was ready to move on and accept. In my head that moment of letting go was like a ah ha moment. I would wake up and I would just let go, just like that. Well, let me tell ya, it doesn't work that way. Life isn't that simple. I have come to the conclusion that letting go is different for everybody. For me, it comes in little moments. These moments all have one thing in common, I am surrounded by my new Kentucky friends. They can be simple moments like laughing so hard you cry or they can be loud moments of jamming out to Adele with all the windows down while cruising on the back roads of Kentucky. These moments show me that letting go is okay. These moments give me a purpose to let go. 


I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I feel like I have tucked Memphis into my heart and now I can just start loving Kentucky. I will forever love Memphis and all the wonderful family that I have there but that weight that was lifted from shoulders was Memphis. Not that Memphis was a burden to me, but I stopped worrying about what all my friends were doing and who they were with and I stopped just constantly spinning the thought of how much I miss Memphis in my head. I smiled and laughed this week. I got they "Hey girl, we want to hangout with you tonight!" texts and those in itself make me smile from ear to ear. :) You can say your ready to let go and move on but once push come to shove, will you actually be able to do it?


I have come to the terms of this is my new life. I tuck Memphis in my heart everyday. Kentucky is right outside my door steps. Am I going to hide or take it head on? 




Kentucky, I am taking you head on. 




I may be scared and nervous but in the end I never regret walking into those rooms of a bunch of people and just saying, "Hey ya'll!" I have learned through this detox. It has taught me that it is okay to let go, in fact it is highly encouraged. My true Memphis friends will always be there and I will never forget Memphis. How could I? It is a pretty awesome place filled with even more amazing people! 


I can say that I am ACTUALLY letting go. It feels good. I feel like I can breathe. 


Miss everyone back home! :) 

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